Finding Peace After the Call: Firefighter Leadership and Surplus Value June 18 2025, 0 Comments

The Call That Changed My Perspective

A few years ago, before I was promoted to Chief, we ran a pediatric arrest right on the first base line of a crowded baseball field.  A nine year old boy had collapsed and stopped breathing–and we couldn’t get him back.  We got the IV right away.  We secured the airway. We performed great compressions.  

And he still died.  

A few of the firefighters cried after the call.  I didn’t.  A few didn’t sleep that night.  I slept like a baby.

Compartmentalization: Shield or Shortcoming?

The next day, driving home from shift, I wondered if maybe there was something wrong with me. I wondered if there was something inside me that had gone quiet, maybe a spiritual fuse that had quietly blown.  I worried about it for some time and the thought has plagued me for many years.  While this article is not intended to unravel my psyche related to firefighter mental health, I wanted to share why and how I compartmentalize the whole event.

I felt and still feel that we did everything right on that day.  We performed as we had trained and we used to train a lot back then.  That night we went over every detail—like we always did—and we all agreed: we couldn’t have done more.  Sure, there were things I might tweak, but there was nothing that I wasn’t proud of. In fact, I was really proud of my guys on that day. I decided that it just wasn’t meant to be. 

I don’t like that phrase.  ‘It wasn’t meant to be.’ That phrase feels like a placeholder for complicated truths that a lot of firefighters use to avoid building emotional resilience.

In this job sometimes it feels like we lose more than we win, even when we do everything just right. When I feel like that–when I feel like we did our best and still lost,  I can still put my head on the pillow, close my eyes and sleep.

Showing Up at Work—and at Home

Over simplifying things in my life is my crutch and my shield.  I live by one simple rule:  Always try to add surplus value in everything you do. This might sound like a lot,  but in my mind it can be as simple as smiling and being present, listening and paying attention during a conversation, or being thoughtful and setting the table while someone else is cooking. In more dramatic moments, it’s performing well on a cardiac arrest or now as a Chief, showing up on scene and leading in the best way I know how.

I bring the same rule home with me.  Am I bringing surplus value to my family as a father and husband?  Am I being a thoughtful friend? 

From Rookie to Chief: The One Rule That Never Changes

No matter where you are in your journey, you can bring surplus value every day.  Everyone has something to give, something to share.  The new guy can listen, can learn, and can out work everyone and the old guy can share wisdom and how to work smarter not harder. This is what a rookie learns and a good firefighter never forgets. There is always a chance to contribute. You can add surplus value to any room you're in, any situation you find yourself.  You can make it better–always.  Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

We'd like to hear how you build emotional resilience, and add value?

Drop a comment and maybe your process will help others around you.